i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
