Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
