he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
