I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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