Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Where is the hickey?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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