Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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