He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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