How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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