She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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