i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
