I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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