Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
