i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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