Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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