everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
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I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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