he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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