Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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