i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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