Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
