I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize