Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
