Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
