That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize