no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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