All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
