I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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