Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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