I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
