Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize