we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
