I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
