Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
