I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
