Sponge bath it is.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
