On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Two words: nipple clamps
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