My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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