dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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