Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
