Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you will always have a special place in my vag
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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