Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
