never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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