you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
