I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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