Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
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I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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