I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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