so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize