She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
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I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
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It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
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