mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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