come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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