btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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