I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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