Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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