I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
nutella sex= disaster
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
