Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Dear god my vagina.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
