Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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