he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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