i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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