I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Randomize
