I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
