Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
