Your dad touched me again.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
