when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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