hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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