dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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