I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Randomize
