I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
