I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
