He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
