so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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