hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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